2011
I’ve been having an internal struggle about doing a reflective year’s end post. but let’s get real, I LOVE doing reflective anything, so here goes:
2011: not really as exciting as 2010- hard to beat going to Israel, dropping out of school, and moving to Peru. This year’s been more about settling in, figuring out some things about myself and trying to deal with them instead of running away from them. Both my failures and victories have been smaller.
- I started at Towson, which at the time was a sort of giving-up. I never would have considered the school when I first graduated high school because I am kind of a snob (as long as we’re being reflective here), but it’s turned out to be a really, really good experience. It’s kind of mimicked transferring from an all-girls’ Academy to public school in high school (why I am constantly transferring/moving would require a whole other reflective post). The “college experience” is a lot less immersive- I live off campus and I only have to associate with whom I chose. I’m more relaxed, I’m getting better grades, and the classes offered match up to my interests a lot more.
- New major! While I’m still within the art department, my major is Interdisciplinary Object Design. I love it. For the first time, I’m actually considering a career based on what I’m studying, rather than just getting a degree for the sake of it. That means I’ll be staying until Spring 2013 to get a BFA, a decision I’m not thrilled about, but I think I’d be cheating myself if I did otherwise.
- Living in an apartment. I think my mental state would be a lot more fucked up than it is if I didn’t have a stable living situation. I can come home and just BE, an experience I’ve never really had anywhere for more than a few weeks at a time.
- Jobs. I have a lot of them. Working with Art with a Heart as an intern and a teacher has been really great. Being an artist assistant has also been pretty great. My artist mentor friend lady Diane is an incredible source of wisdom and strength. The rest of my jobs have been/are tolerable.
- Little trips. I didn’t leave the country this year, but I went on a lot of little mini-trips that were still cool experiences. Charlottesville, North Carolina, New York, Boston, Philadelphia, San Francisco. My love of traveling and independence has definitely outed my anxiety on this one- I have no problem packing a bag and hopping on a bus and going where ever. Two years ago I wouldn’t have been able to imagine doing that without having a panic attack.
- Boyfriend. I hadn’t been in anything resembling a relationship since high school up until the last few months. I never would have had all the experiences I’ve had if I was tied down in any way, and I’m appreciative of the freedom that allowed me. I also got hurt a lot, and for some reason allowed myself to get repeatedly hurt by the same people. It’s been a strange and new experience to be treated well. Not to hate on the guys I’ve been involved with in the past- I’ve certainly done my share of not treating people well. Even if what I have now doesn’t last (and I hope that it does), I’ll still know what I deserve and be more vocal about getting it. And that’s important.
- Friends! I spent my first few months at Towson almost completely alone. It was alright- I actually got really good grades and a got a lot of reading done. But it gets old after a while, and I’m super glad my stitch ‘n bitch knitting group turned into this amazing group of friends. My pals Quinn, Greg, and Ellie are definitely kindred spirits and this past year would have been pretty empty without them.
